I Can Have My Baby In My Arms Finally...

Today me sangat happy. Tak sabar-sabar bangun tidur because me nak minta jumpa baby me. I want to see her so badly, but yesterday doctor tak kasi because me baru recover, baru keluar ICU semua kan, and baby punya head pun belum baik sangat lagi. Poor baby, kepala her luka sikit ada kesan because of the suction. I'm so sorry baby. Mummy was crap at pushing! Mummy hilang energy all, sedangkan Mummy nak sangat deliver Baby Rae secara normal... :( I rasa macam bad mother, sebab tak berjaya deliver my baby secara normal... I siap menangis pandang my husband...my mom and my MIL nasib baik sangat-sangat memahami... when I requested nak ceaser, diorang sokong I, because dari 6.30am my waterbag dah pecah, risau baby lemas nanti... I puji doctor di DEMC semua... diorang tak ambil kesempatan...bila I macam give-up dah tak nak cuba push baby dah tak nak lahirkan baby secara normal, diorang tetap cuba pujuk I supaya try...but...like I said, I dah cannot push dah depends on gas jer...I penat sangat sampai cannot bercakap langsung! At 9am, I masuk OT...me half sedar, pun I dah macam kat alam lain dah...I was too tired...masa diorang tunjuk Baby Rae to me pun, I takde reaction pape... Rupa-rupanya I ade complication...doctor said, I ada dua uterus, and that's so abnormal... diorang discover masa operation tue. I lost a lot of blood... and I terpaksa dimasukkan ke ICU sebab I terlalu lemah and diorang kena masukkan 2 pints of blood type O(+ve) to ganti balik my blood yang banyak hilang...Drama kan? Yeah...my mom punyalah takut... because yelah, usually hilang darah masa beranak boleh menyebabkan.....kematian. Ish! But Alhamdulillah... berkat doa semua orang, berkat sokongan semua orang yang sanggup tunggu I dari 2am-10pm....I dimasukkan ke ward biasa after demam I dah ok semua. Bila I sedar jer...I terus minta my baby. Semua said baby tak boleh jumpa lagi...I was soo emo...I merajuk...because I risau. I actually takut anything happen to Baby Rae. So, hari ke-2 baru I dapat jumpa my baby... bayangkanlah... memang I terus sebak happy semua! Husband sentiasa ada di sisi I pujuk I ambil hati I happykan I...Ok,ok enough of sad story. Yang penting, now me and baby dah selamat...I dah tak takut pegang Baby Rae...I cuma perlu extra careful because kepala her masih sakit lagi kan....I sentiasa cuba breastfeed her...It was like, breastfeeding her with empty boobies! Susu takde...I didn't produced a lot of milk yet for Baby Rae...kesian my baby, she had to drink suppliment milk dulu. As I want to breastfeed exclusively sangat to her, I wasn't happy with the suppliment...I sentiasa berdoa and usaha urut my boobs semua supaya can produce milk for my baby...I'm the luckiest mommy on earth!